The Life And Ministry Of John Smith

Earthen Vessel 1896:

Mr. John Smith, Of Winchester

Dear Christian Brother,—According to your most unexpected request, I herewith give a few jottings to accompany portrait, and in so doing hope good may come to some who shall read, and God be glorified.

I was born in the year 1850. Very early in years I was the subject of religious impressions, and was led to desire an experience of Christ’s love to me and an interest in His forgiveness. This may, to some extent, be instanced by the following circumstance, still fresh in my memory. My eldest sister used always to see that I was safely in bed at night, being for many years in very weak health. One night I said to her, “I have nightly repeated the Lord’s prayer, F——. Cannot you teach me how to pray so that I might tell God what I feel and want?” I began to feel a formalism in the set petition, marvelously expressive as it is. To this she replied, of course, that she could not do so. I then said to her, “I will ask Him myself to teach me to pray,” and I did so, and continued that evening thus, until like the apostles I fell asleep, for my eyes were heavy, and was so found kneeling by my bedside.

Some time after this I came across a hymn, written, I think, by Dr. Watts, beginning—

“Almighty God, Thy piercing eye

Strikes through the shades of night,

And our most secret actions lie

All open to Thy sight.

And must the sins that I have done,

Be read and published there,

Be all exposed before the Son,

While men and angels hear?”

This convinced me of my state as a sinner, and led me to the throne of grace to sue for mercy, and this craving desire appeared to be answered, and enjoyed now and again. But the plague of one’s own heart was then often experienced, frequently leading me to desire to swear as I had heard others do to express themselves, but my mouth was always shut when the vile desire arose, or I was led from the company of those who did it, with a feeling of hatred to the sin.

It was, however, in conversation with a minister, who was afterwards, and for many years, deputation to the Bible Society, that I was brought into liberty, while he was explaining to me the words written, “Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord.” It was also in this frame that I was much blessed under a sermon by him, and which was the first time in my life that I had heard a sermon called “very strong Calvinism,” and I remember making a remark to a friend, “Calvinism or not, it was good to a thirsty soul, and just what I wanted.”

It is now some 21 years since I was led to see, and in a very peculiar manner, believers’ baptism by immersion, and joined the Church here. My final decision was arrived at owing to a friend quoting our Lord’s words, “If ye love Me, keep My commandments.” I really felt at the time, I could have laid down my life out of love to Christ, so I there and then sought admission to the Church by the Gospel method.

I need not dilate further, than to say my whole experience up to now has appeared to be a fulfillment of the words, “I drew them with cords of a man, with bands of love.”

With respect to the ministry, I can hardly name it a “call,” but am more inclined to term it, being thrust out. As a lad, I might say, I had a strong desire to be a missionary.

When about 17 years of age, I became a member of an association of young men, who had given some evidence of their call by grace. It was usual on one evening in every week, that one of the members should conduct a devotional service and give an address, and I took my turn. To my surprise, I was met one day by the Secretary to a Village Preachers’ Association, and told that I had been placed on the supply list, and that I had to go to a certain chapel the next Lord’s-day evening and preach. To this I demurred, feeling myself totally unequal to the task. It was no use to say no, for I was fetched, and so went through the service, with much fear and trembling however, (yet I tremble often now), and believe God was with me, many testifying then and at subsequent services of the good received.

After uniting with the Church here, I was frequently requested to speak, but always declined, until one Sabbath morning the pastor was ill, and as I had promised to give out the hymns, I was requested to go on further with the service. So we read a portion of Scripture, and offered prayer. No one having appeared to take the sevice further, I said I would read the 137th Psalm and make a few remarks as I might be able. This was so well received, I was again pressed but declined. However, one Sabbath evening, a very similar circumstance occurred again, and I was asked to speak, and did so, taking as my first text the words, “Behold the man.” I was afterwards frequently requested to undertake one service in the day. 

Some time after this, I was very much exercised both as to speaking, and if I did, what my theme. My faith and feelings were much unhinged, and I felt if I preached I might do so as many others around without giving a prominence to the teachings of the Cross. In this frame, on a Sabbath morning in the chapel, I seemed to be laid hold of by someone, and a cord was gently placed around me and drew me to a cross, then gradually bound me to it, the cord all the while becoming more tightened.

I was thus for some time, and began to feel pained, when a voice seemed to speak most audibly to me, and it said, “Thou must preach Christ and Him crucified.” The cord was then loosened, but the feeling of it lasted some time, as though it actually bound me still.

Later on again, when I had promised to speak, I was much troubled thereat, and deeply exercised as to a text. I felt disposed to give it up; my mind mentally and physically seemed racked with pain. I laid back on a sofa and fell into a sort of reverie, and while in this position a voice said most distinctly, “Go: I will be with thee.” I arose, wonderfully refreshed. I went accordingly, had a message given me, felt the presence of the Master, and the people were glad. Whenever I am now similarly exercised, and led to plead that promise, we have a good time. It is like a staff to me, and I can testify to the Divine faithfulness who has always given me utterance.

On the death of our then pastor, some years since, the Church unanimously elected me to fill the office.

I have no relish for anything but the glorious doctrines of grace and setting forth the truths of God as based on His everlasting love. There can be no better theme, and none more Christ-exalting, and God- glorifying. I speak the feeling of my heart in quoting the words of the poet Cowper:—

“E’er since by faith I saw the stream

Thy flowing wounds supply,

Redeeming love has been my theme,

And shall be till I die.”

And I hope this will be true.

That the Holy Spirit may continue, and ever lead me into that glorious theme, is the desire of

Yours in the love of the truth,

J. Smith